Johnny
I like how you took the literal approach to the main focal point to your story. You took a predictable route that’s true, but you made it your own. Weaving a tale of an acrobat having an accident. I especially loved the peppered in circus themes through out the first half of the piece. Clever and it helped to set the scene just right. Ultimately I think it was a fairly well done piece the only gripe I might have. Maybe spend a little more time in the second half developing that loyal spouse. Could of of helped me in dear myself a bit more to the main character thus strengthening the story a bit more. Solid showing though old chap.
Artifice
You also seemed to go the same route except your piece wasn’t literal but metaphorical which was a dope. Instead of taking the pic for face value and dig a little deeper under the surface. Like your opponent you placed little hints here and there with your wording to give your piece that extra layer. The ending is cool as it gives the whole verse this sense of it’s just another drunken episode, the whole thing lol. In a split second you sober up and claim sobriety like all addicts due, well done.
Overall
Pretty even match here. Both had their shining moments and both writers managed to weave stories that captured my attention. I gotta pick one though and I think I’m going with 6 feet here, I think he had just enough content to edge out this W. Dope battle tbh and thanks for the read fellas.
6feet
|