Crash-Really wasn’t feeling this verse. You’re coming off as trying to be super clever but nothing was hitting at all. I use apostrophes sometimes with tie ins but it was wayyyyy too many here. I would concentrate less on so many tie ins and just try to make the overall punch as impactful as possible. Maybe one tie in. Especially the tie ins in the set up. Once in awhile that can be effective but it did nothing here.
Des-everything was ok except for the shampoo line. Didn’t like that at all. Verse seemed pretty rushed. Best line was probably Dave Matthews but even there saying he has likes you is kind of eh.
I got des with the win here. Didn’t really need to try too hard.
Vote-Des
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