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Old 08-05-2018, 10:58 PM   #13
Jabari Black
Sun Tzu
 
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 550
Battle Record: 13-6


Champed
- Battle Arena League
- 1-2 Punch League
- Netcees Battle League
- Netcees SOL

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Zelph, aka, for battling, aka the creature we can’t wait to shoot
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU to go chain yourself somewhere little fat kids can feed you baby ruths

(Hmmm I didn’t care for this one. I like that you went for the flip on Zelph’s “I thought I told you” but the punch just wasn’t there”

You fucking cryptid... I legit hope u choke & die.
dude’s the second coming of Beyond w/one open lip instead of one open eye

(Lol this is funny. Pretty good)

Just stop it, Z.... in archives for days to get ammo for a smooth robbery
I guess miscarriage lines??? bro. I have a kid who’s face & mouth tissue fused properly

(The archives part was a good personal angle. The second line was pretty good. Good prebuttal and the punch was okay. Overall good line)

ur not cut out for this. those bars just ain’t enough to not clown ur lips
ironic ur the cop but u will be the one reaching and getting shot down for it

(Hmmm this is not bad. You coulda set this up a better so we know exactly what ‘reaching and getting shot down for it’ is referring to. This was solid but coulda been dope with a better setup/tie in)

me love ghost? nah. but every time u knock on a door, it’s trick or it’s treat
ur the one who needs bags - over ur face to stop scaring kids on your beat

(Ehhh, the bags flip doesn’t feel fresh and the flip was pretty simple. Not bad though.

& now it’s sad. i feel almost sorry for my nouns & jabs
cuz normally my lips are sealed... but in this case, palates bad

(Damn I wanted to like this one. The wp itself is slick but it def doesn’t fit in the punch both ways imo. Coulda def been fire with better execution)



I cnt believe this shit. Des stays talkin bout my scar like he’s one to speak on it
Wel im jus glad I was able to develop more facial features than his wifes dead fetus did

(This would have been a bit better if Des didn’t anticipate it. It was okay)


Put this man in a hearse. U shoulda seen the way he ran from the burst
Or ill let a dummy go off in his crib & kill his whole family like the Annabelle curse

(Yezzir. This is dope and creative)

Tell this fuckboy ive had it. He’ll look dumb af wen I pull up w/ static
Ventriloquist; these hands will make a dummy talk outta nowhere like its magic

(Dang you def shoulda split this and your last punch up. This coulda been fire as well but two dummy punches back to back take away from it even though dumb dumb punches aren’t even that common. The concept was still nice though and execution/wording as well. Overall pretty good)

Des wack in the 1-2, Ur trash lines has us cheesin..we call u wack for a reason
U can ask MMLP2.. he’s proof u haven’t dropped anything good the whole season

(This is a good personal. Woulda liked to see a punch at the end or something to make it a tad more impactful. Not bad though)

You used “rattle” as a gunbar? This old man cnt seem to get the lingo right
I’ll paint the board red, this stick leavin’ rounds in a square.. it’s bingo night!

(Lmao nigga got that tommy pickles tucked. This is a dope punch. I like the personal angle in the set up. The bingo night punch is dope and it tied into the set up well)

Look at the tools that I’m poppin. Proned out, aimin a scope at ya noggin’
Cheap shots, I’m bangin cans on the floor to take half off like I’m grocery shoppin’

(This some hood shit lmao. The reference is funny af to me. Punch was nice. You flipped a pretty long phrase pretty flawlessly here which is impressive. Really good closer)


Man this is a good battle. A grudge match for sure.

Des had a nice verse. It read better each read imo. Des has some subtleties in his pen that I enjoyed. Also every punch had a personal touch to it. The amount of kip bars might have made some of your latter punches come off less impactful but you still showed a lot of creativity.

Zelph went off and was punching back to back. Des definitely had the better personals but you was tryna punch that niggas head off. A lot of heavy punches combined with gout wording and flow. Your verse was also very consistent with no misses imo.

This battle got closer and closer with each read but I thin Zelph had a few less misses and also had the heavier haymakers. I got zelph taking this one.

Mvgt Zelph
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