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Old 09-10-2020, 06:23 PM   #9
Johnny 6 feet
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Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 446
Battle Record: 8-4


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Bladed Thesis- Great take on the topic. Original idea and well executed. You manged to keep up the compound rhyme scheme throughout the piece although it occasionally felt a little forced, but that was a minor niggle. The imagery was strong; you painted a story of romance and conveyed the narrators mindset well. The punchline at the end was a good one. Nice work.

Objective- Poetic stuff man. A great use of metaphors throughout the piece. I felt that you managed to pack a lot into your shorter bars and imply a lot of what happened in that 20 years your narrative spanned across. It was a bittersweet ending that matched the picture well. From a technical standpoint it was strong as well. Like it.

Vote- Thesis, stronger overall narrative and slightly better on the tech imo.
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