[Adonis]

Alright YDK - You wrote a true concept piece and it started slow in the flow department on the first read. But you picked that shit up proper and fast. I enjoyed the heavy schemes, but mostly because it wasn't forced what so ever. When I went back to read I understood why the opener wasn't the best flowing one. You had to set up the concept. But with that said, I feel like you should have had enough time to find a way to re-word that opening bar so it had a crisper end rhyme. As for the concept, I loved it. I appreciate concept pieces more then the next guy because when I was writing as a young lad, that's what a topical was. Then people started doing stories. I can also do a story, but I don't have fun doing that. You chose to take us on a ride of our lives...Perfect title for your verse eh?? The verse was short and to the point. You nailed the flow and I can see what you went for, but I will be a bit negative as to play the "constructive criticism" card. It seemed you did what I did vs. you. Focused so much on rhyme that the point was lost in the middle. You kept the content, but went from life being a ride to killing people. I understand that you were giving direct examples of human life and worth, but you jumped too much for me as far as a topical goes. Again, being over critical because I thoroughly enjoyed this.


Certain - You zygoted it haha... On the real, the opening bar, as YDK, was fairly weak. but you did keep that same cadence or flow going so it helped me to not dislike it so much because the following bars were nice. When I say the opening bar was weak, I mean the content, not so much flow. But then again it's hard to criticize you for that because aren't you at the same time simply critiquing another man or lady? I enjoyed the flow in the this verse very much. I will say you switched the third stanza to the A,A,A,B,B,B scheme which I realized I don't like and will make a point not to use. I prefer lines or bars to be in pairs, either aa bb cc or aaaa bbbb cccc, although I to like to have fun with wording shit. All in all though I thought the take on the picture, the whole dissection angle to be brilliant. One of the better verses of the season



Voting Certain. YDK you did good, but I can say from all the verses I read this season, I can't off the top of my head say this would have lost to any of them. I'm sure it is a top 4 verse of the season. So While Y, you wrote something I truly did like, you simply still didn't bring enough moxie (such a dope word) to win.