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Old 07-30-2014, 04:11 PM   #4
Fig
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6,473
Battle Record: 8-16



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Ydk: the car metaphor for life.. is tiring. Not that this wasnt good writing, but for a champ match, you should've deviated from cliches altogether. This is a verse that I think people couldve expected from you, which is a problem, because you knew coming into this match that you needed you + a little more. Now, where I think this verse succeeds is how it flows logically and for the most part, doesn't meander too long on any idea. You said what you needed to say, and wrapped it all up at the end. Focused. I was just hoping for more flavor.

Certain: Creative, and much appreciated take on the topic at hand. This verse made me feel bad, but in a good way. The bullet points where you criticize the picture were hilarious. The rhyming was clean, which made this an easy read. I was in and out. 1 pump wonder. This verse essentially summed up the integrity of the competitors in the league this season, which made it almost inspiring. Oh, also the ending was the perfect way to end this. okay verse

v/Certain for a more refined/original verse.
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