Thread: turn time off
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Old 07-19-2018, 07:26 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Eŋg View Post
sorry, i enjoyed the preamble -- it was actually quite poignant. i might arbitrarily say you wrote the verse in two halves (maybe) and to that end i enjoyed the latter half more: when you tried to rhyme less, your sentiments (which resonated - maybe because i am currently accruing sedentary stiffness through my own choice) were more palpable. some of the phrasings scattered throughout felt askew in the tilt of the piece as a whole, but maybe i need to revisit it to grasp their intended purpose, if any.

anyway, thanks for the read. you write somewhat atypically, which i tend to appreciate.
Hey thank you this was very good feedback and inspired me to write more.
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