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Old 10-21-2017, 12:30 PM   #9
Diablo
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This is an odd battle for me. Two very different styles and executions, one I'd usually favour over the other in truth but we'll get to that later on...

Inno: I enjoyed this read for all its contrasts and descriptions actually, giving the reader a precise telling using the darkness, the heartbeat, the "light" at the end of the tunnel etc without it being cliched. It told a detailed story that came off Poe-esque to me in tone and that worked well with the time of year leading up to Halloween for me. I don't know if I completely "got" the ending, be it a twist of your wife dying or you exiting the coma like stasis your lead character was in but that's how I read it at least, with one of two endings. I'm more of a heavy technical merit type of writer so the end rhymes weren't what I'm usually used to, but it helped you bring out your story here by not being so rigid and applying a scheme that restricted you. It worked, and may actually be what ultimately led to my decision this week actually.

Witty: I'm a huge horror fan so obviously this verse appeals to me somewhat, and from a technical standpoint I can appreciate what you did mechanics wise, but there was something missing this week unfortunately. It wasn't even so much a story, more a topical verse, where you showed you're the better technical writer but Inno edged this with the story development and conclusion. Yours almost finished up without a real resolution, I don't know if that was due to time constraints or generally losing interest but you can't really blame anyone else but yourself for the loss here. Inno perhaps didn't have the technical side to his game to match you, but in terms of creativity and wording and storytelling he shone this week. I think he did really well with his choice of words, maybe not so much the end rhymes, but everything prior to those end rhymes was carefully chosen to build up an atmosphere of suspense that really worked (to me) and ultimately got him the win here.

Inno got it.
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