Im going with Razah here, shorter verse but wording was clean and imagery was strong, loved the mist/blade of grass line. the overall verse was definitely more cohesive than Exis'. Exis i did follow your story but it wasn't neatly coupled and your wording was off in so many places with long-winded lines, try cutting off some irrelevant words and you'll be fine.
V/Razah
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