[sral]

I reasd this at RR, it seemed an odd collab if I'm honest. I like all three of you seperately, not so much together here to keep it 100% real.

Lemarchand is usually pretty polished, one of the best at RR IMO, but here he seemed a little all over the place. I couldn't get into the flow of his joint, it's scatter brained almost and jumps between too many ideas, plus some of those end rhymes don't work in my accent - almost from the get go, so it made it hard to get into the entire thing and want to read on off bat. I'm not a hater, believe me, I'm a fan of this dude usually - just not here. Lol. "The chemist is antiquated," I kind of half-liked, wish he had expanded on it. On anything, actually, there was just kind of train-of-thought flashes here and there with nothing really building up anywhere to me. It's a tough one to get into.

Sammy/Google: The openers fire, loved Giga-biting into the apples core. Jogging that memory-card," was a cool turn of phrase also. I wasn't sure if you were going for Otterbox like the iPhone case or something different entirely LOL but i'll give you the benefit of the doubt as it was all technology linked. It's very brief, like 10-12 lines maybe? It had a lot of quasi-themes like that apple one which you developed onward to it being about a family tree but then again it didn't really lead into more - they were separate ideas, snippets if you will, along the same theme (or similar) but nothing really felt whole to me like your stuff usually does. It had its flashes, like the intro, which I really liked - but again man, it feel a little short (to me), you know? Maybe I'm just to familiar with your work. I dunno. Hand on heart I wanted more. It feels too "brief", it feels like it needs more, it feels (to me) like there was a lot more to explore or elaborate on that never came. It feels like an opportunity missed, IMHO. That's not to say it's bad, you're a very good writer when you try, but this isn't the best example of your work (though, that said, I enjoyed this more than the Lemarchand verse).

Self: You anchored this well, tbh. The opening line felt like it was too wordy for you, way longer than your usual syllable count to lines, way too many long words crammed into that first line with "extinguished" "pixelated" and "digital" for there to be no internals or carry it flow wise. Very unlike you, tbh. You upped it, though, I especially like 'God became Jobs' etc. This section was where you really started clicking:

"Technology cometh to blot out the Sun". This topic's become
the dystopic conclusion of Lucifer's lust. Abusing our lungs.
Pollution and drugs. Robotic gestopos with too many guns.
Computing the funds. Crypto-currently poor. Indebted to serpents
of virtual lore.The purpose of war? Is burguyndy poured
on circuitry boards. Thus feeding the beast that nurtures the Borg.

Burgundy poured on to circuitry boards was my personal highlight.

Overall, good verses from all, I think Sammy maybe had the slightly more interesting content here with the opening line which was fire. Self had the best section of the piece, that which I quoted, because I felt most of that apart from the closer. It could have probably done without Lemarchand on this to be real, he doesn't add the piece much and having him as the lead-off batter probbaly detracts a few people from wanting to read on in truth. If I wasn't as familiar with him, or you guys, to know he's usually very good, I probably wouldn't have carried on reading. Lol.

Keep those pens moving!