this fag gon die.. he'll get tossed off the boat
1 shot'll hit this buoyancy how his dead body is left afloat
(This is cool. The wp itself came off smooth. Forced it in their a bit - kinda had two diff things going on with shooting him and tossing him off s boat)
emo cunt dying to cut, the buck trending if I grab the ol' shotty..
1 shell is '13 reasons why' he won't have to catch his own body
(I see where you were going but kinda fumbled it. ‘Catch his on Body’ doesn’t really mean anything unless it’s some slang I didnt get’. I’m assuming the 13 reasons is referring to the shell plus 12 buckshots but you’re going to have to set it up better for folks to catch that. This was a miss imo)
Catch me w/ the strap, throw hands but u wouldn't leave a scratch
Metal in my palms.. i'll start off by giving you a 30 to love like a tennis match
(This was decent. Metal is in my palms is a cool tie in. I like the 30 to love concept, but it shoulda been worded better. This was decent though)
a self proclaimed cocaine cowboy, shoot it to finny or man stop,
if we talking Griselda Blanco it's the pigment of ya grandpops
(The concept is clever but the wp comes off too forced to me. Had to reread the line a lot. It was creative/clever though but wp didn’t come off smooth.)
fkn ghost in a box, ur ancient alias can eat a dick the shit tragic,
after the battle u dip from the site ur the next @
Current faggot
(Lol. This was alright)
No theatrics, this actor needs a lesson before I make his earnings drop
Grizz Chapman, u need some chapstick after I give u this 3-0 rock
(The set up was there but then you fumbled the punch imo. I get 30 rock reference but 3-0 rock doesn’t mean anything unless it’s some slang I didn’t know. Then the ashy lips angle coulda been funny but I don’t think you were trying to go that route)
got Rax says u cant beat me - an it’s fact u’d want no beef
in the 1st wk u made it onto Cyclist an now we see ur the type that rides bikes w/ no seat
(If I misunderstood the bar sorry but this one missed. I used context clues to understand the angle so the angle itself is fine but wasn’t executed the best. The wp doesn’t work b/c you can’t use Cyc for Cyrax - I’d have to be Cy. Plus idk what ‘the type hat rides bikes w/ no seats’ mean other than a tie in to cyclist)
2nd wk- new mission, in court u won’t hold! lil pressure an 2 flippin
it’s ironic Incredible gave me the Drop yet if anything went down we allllll know it’d be u snitchin
(This was okay. That Drop flip was basic but it was a jab)
we too different.. i keep it reel, punches hit til u shifting
get out of line an 2 missing - goons leave Dropshot only way CSI find’em is a crew fishing
(Another jab. The dropshot/fishing flip is basic (2 and drop are two easy things to flip so gotta be creative for it not to be basic lol) but still landed. I liked how this flowed as well)
put money on ya head have u whacked for a light wage
in ya last match u tried to be a Dino threat - yet seemed to be the one effected by an ice age
(I didn’t care for this. Thought this was a miss)
top tier no one’ll mention Two, punches hit til u need dentures dude
ur flow & dynamics suffer badly - but w/ another loss on that record u’ll be in contention to
(The wording wasn’t clear on this one. You had something going with the flow vs dynamics flip, but the wording on the punch wasn’t concise enough. Contention to do what? And how does a loss correlate to being in contention? I coulda been missing something but seems like the execution was off to me)
Grizz showed a bit more consistency in his verse. Drop had the more creative concepts but the execution was missing in some of your punches. You also had some awkward phrases in there like ‘Catch his own body’, ‘Grizz[‘s] elder’, ‘30 to love’. These aren’t phrases someone would just use so it comes off as forced when you use them as a punch.
Grizz, on the other hand, didn’t show as much creativity and that kept he match close. His punches were landing but they were just jabs and easy punches to land. I do think he had less misses though and did enough to get he dub.
Mvgt Grizz