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Old 08-25-2019, 01:26 AM   #5
UnbornBuddha
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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To be honest, I'm sort of disappointed, I will explain.

Witty: I liked your verse it was emotional, it was simple. You tend to write with simplicity, but always with a smoothness that lures you in due to how free it feels. I especially like the theme of love, but faced with the antagonistic villain of cancer that threatens to make it short-lived. And the only thing that is propelling this person is the imaginative realm and her will to immerse herself in it, as she fights for her life in the physical and tangible realm. It was touching, I would have liked maybe more exploration of this imaginative place, the only real time you touch on it is when she enters the portal, where she becomes this strong hero of sorts. I feel you could have expanded here and made a good story even greater by extending our imaginations. But nevertheless, I enjoyed it.

Diablo: While the writing was somewhat enjoyable, this was not what I expected. I think aiming the topic toward a previous opponent while it seems clever, it comes off as uninspired. I feel like you if you dedicated your efforts into crafting a vision that I know you are capable of, you would have created something with a compelling draw. Yes, it was entertaining and humorous to an extent, but the finals are not the time to pull a stunt like this. You basically did what your semi-finals opponent did, but to a much greater extent (as he still focused on a narrative), but you kind just myopically focused on him, which leaves a bad taste in the mouth as good sportsmanship is part of the topical appeal, maybe not during the chat or forum, but the final match is more sacred. Its not a time to troll about trolling, seems like you you tried to put a spin on it but it backfired. Perhaps if you faced a less formidable opponent it would have worked, as your writing would have carried you, but in this case, it doesn't.

Vote: Witty
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