[Aero]

Master Rock -

I glanced to the side as my babies eyes were fixated on the tides
the ebb and flow gave her solace from the glides of
memories crashing along the splashes as they dive

heal our wounds, renew us into a cocoon,
fly away in my mind the dawn sets butterfly divine


Had a poetic feel. So the man had committed murder and was reflecting on the pain he felt from that with his wife by his side. Okay cool. The delivery was okay, could be tighter. Rereading it and knowing what the man is feeling makes for a better read but upon first read it's a chore to get through. I liked this because it was a a reflection piece and it captures the essence of the picture. A man and his wife staring into the ocean with the sun setting configured as a brain so it makes sense that this would be more reflective. Cool verse.


Scar - Undeveloped was a good title because I think this story was a bit undeveloped. Started off talking about summer then a mormon office worker who wanted to be the man to women. It was cool to read



Good showing from both. I think MR really captured the essence of what the photo was about. Used really good vocabulary and had some bits and pieces of great wording, imagery and conveyance. MVGT Master Rock