I was gonna come back here and give you some more detailed feed but it would basically be me just picking out a bunch of phrases which rhyme well and that I thought were cool. Then I'd ask you did you really paint a stairway purple or was that just for a rhyme?
So I don't have any detailed feed; this will have to suffice:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sinacog
you always have good prose in your writtens, it's quite stylish and good. i enjoy it, and your flow and rhyme scheme is always on point. nice multi-syllabics and good rhyme scheme with flow..nice one. the topic is pretty cool, i do enjoy it..just a good written on relationship matters..it's pretty cool..I enjoyed it. I do enjoy your writtens, I see you have another OM which I'll read, but nice one man..keep writing..and keep dropping..lol..niice one..
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And maybe if you feed one of Dragon, errr, Sinacog's verses he will stop posting so many
Ok here's something
art in your jewelry. scars in your hosiery
i'm carbon and dopamine. i just want you to notice me
Jesus Mary and Josephine, asparagus, okra leaves
marry me openly. connect in every manner but socially
To me that just looks like you're packing an extra line of rhymes. Like a sense of humor? Cuz you could really cut that third line I've quoted. Go straight from
want you to notice me to
marry me openly without talking about asparagus and okra leaves.
But granted now it looks like I'm really nitpicking because the verse is very good.