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Old 06-13-2015, 03:06 PM   #8
UnbornBuddha
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Okay, finally have time to cast some votes.

Anyway, Genocide. You depicted this king that has a dark shroud around his image as the dark lord himself. Some of the imagery was particularly splendid, this line, in particular, stood out "black blood floods the earth, an axe picks the ice caps. Thought that was provocative. And the flow was smooth, as expected from a Genocide verse, the wording was up to standard. Though I do have a gripe, I thought there wasn't really any progression to what you were saying. I thought the angle was all description, which is fine, but the angle itself has been done to death. This was still well-written, even though you did write it quite rapidly. It would be nice to see a piece from you, where you take time to craft it and refine it from there.

Mayniuhh: I don't think I've read anything from you before. As another commentator stated: What you wrote is very different than most topicals I'm used to reading. You didn't rhyme in many instances, and being that I love rhyming, that is an immediate con to me, particularly because this is lyricism. It's hard for me to say much, in this instance, and I usually do have a lot to say. I think what you wrote is more suited for other types of environments, but I think for this tournament, you must adapt and morph your style, and your writing, so you fit more along the pack of wolves. The writing itself was not bad, but it was like a spoken word piece, without rules, where the audience snaps their fingers, as you elucidate and unravel each line. Their rhythm highlighting yours, and yours theirs. Thank you both.

Vote: Genocide
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