[PancakeBrah]

The 'squashed in a bowl' scheme was lightweight okay and 'nigga with attitude/physical attribute' rhyme was nice, very natural and perfectly synched up. The content missed me quite a bit. The bi chicks line was nonsensical and weird. The teddy bear motif was cringe-worthy. Most of the complaints UnbornBuddha laid out were pretty accurate; the ending rhyme scheme was very basic, entry-level stuff with no originality to buoy it. Also, this is the "Open Mic" forum. We have an audio section. The tired argument of 'i dumb it down; it would be doper than your shit in audio' is irrelevant. It's a text writing section so getting defensive and using that excuse doesn't cut it. The best writers here all have good 'flows' if you read their pieces aloud. They're able to do that with better content and more complex schemes than this. Which isn't to say this was capital BAD, it wasn't, but it was nondescript and a little bland to be a standout. I'd say crank up the complexity and give an extra thought towards originality. Thanks for the read!