[Mr. J]

that would shake its foundation when an oath was essential.
For its essential protection: call me its homecoming for the residential.

Anyhow the spirit grew withing the populace.
and like a disease the history of these people was erased.
^^^^
This is my only gripe with the piece, it progressed nicely but this was blahhh
I know when writing it's hard to stray from words that you've already used
and I feel like it toys with the potency that you supply & draws you back a bit
it would be best to find a different word to rhyme & still explain what you want

With the intent to fight they pulled away from Gods text by night.
Even when dark as night there was no way of dealing with the pain.
The citizens decided it would be better to recreate the look in Gods face,
as shocked as he was, continued to find evidence within the lake.
^^^^
I thought this little section was smooth as glass though
really strung together nicely, the end of it didn't hit the multi rhyme people enjoy
but the way you pull this off makes the piece feel really...
idk...it's just good yo! you keep improving each time you drop...nice work

We’re all fording it's torrent, absorbing the past’s poison,
Asking God to make our choices.
Begging the fog to leave it’s voices behind the shroud,
Reveal one’s true form as a wisp of dust in the wind,
every soul’s proud of it’s new born.
Travelling in it’s new form within aspen and pine, cedars and oak,
Through wolves, tigers, lions, and each volcanoes fiery smoke.
Taking hold in it’s black soil, ashes and acid rain,
Inside plastic, pollution, what’s the solution to the human spirits unending pain?
^^^
I thought this whole section was pretty dope, you brought together a solid idea
the progression of the piece built up to a decent ending, I would have enjoyed a bigger bang
but this was still pretty dope, I'm not a big fan of centered text as I used to be
but this was clean regardless, you put a lot of description which makes it easier to paint the picture in my mind
really smooth work here

v/Asylum, I felt he delivered a well rounded verse that deserves to be read thoroughly
as for ribbit, he is improving with each verse that he drops and just gets better each drop
which is admirable, but I feel like he may need to spend more time reviewing his piece
chopping out what doesn't work and what does, he may benefit more from working it out
either way dope battle fella's