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Old 04-26-2015, 02:45 PM   #5
Soulstice
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UB - A hyper self concious look at the dilapitated psyche of a pedophile. The sketch was kind of all over the place, at first it seems like an ego-driven desire to be some 'hell prophet' and rape kids just for the sake of being terrible. Then it seems inward looking - "Im here arent I" - where the character admits that his darkside needs to go and jumps in front of a train. The internal imagery and metaphor worked well although it was quite dense, and sometimes redundant. As in, each line didn't take the reader some place new - the key in engaged reading.

Black - I read this a while ago - very personal. I couldn't tell if this was a platonic relationship or not, and eschewing any focus on sexuality focused on the shamefulness of the downward spiral - maybe that wasn't intentional, but it was noted. The trip through memory lane was dope, the return-to-present dichotomy was kind of cliche, but how the situations related over time was a nice touch that brought your piece from a trite drug addiction portrait to something that evokes a unique shade of shame, where the reader feels a little bit dirty and might need to take a shower soon.

Vote - blacketh
his story brought me more places, while ub's sort of circled around before settling on a trope ive seen done and probably written myself
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Originally Posted by asylum View Post
? subtly? what the fuck is a subtly? i dont know what that is. can someone help me out?
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