uhm so yea. i suck at topical voting. which is why i generally dont do it. but apparently yall reeeeally need some votes here. so let's see. technically, i gotta give it to lars. he had nice rhyme schemes that were clean as fuck and often inner rhymes and shit as well. (not actual inner rhymes, but like two rhymes per line... w/e.) mr j had things like "looking for/wouldn't ignore" which rly throws me off cuz the syllables dont match perfectly. hate that tbh; it's a pet peeve of mine. conceptually, i kinda liked the idea of a dialogue w/ sherlock holmes about observation and shit. but i feel like it could'a been cleaner. if u're gonna make it about sherlock holmes, throw some clues in, so that when i come to the end, i'm like "oohhhh, that's why he said dr james earlier" or smth. the way u did it, it felt kinda random. but then, maybe that randomness/surprise is exactly what u were going for, and i just dont know shit about topicals. which is rly plausible. so yea. i'm not tryna lecture u or be condescending or anything. just how i felt reading that verse u know. lars, that shit was cool i guess. like, u had many facets of ur topic in there, and the thieve getting stolen from was a cool twist i guess, but it was nothing wowing. and i suppose that's not what u were going for, focusing more on the technical aspects. but yea, the story was cool. so in the end, it comes down to which verse i enjoyed more, and that was lars. mainly because he was better technically, but he also had a solid story. execution was on point tho.
rereading mr j's verse, i have to admit, the conceptual approach is nicer than i gave it credit for earlier. like hinting subtly at the fact that it's a dialogue, and like the insecurity of the speaker in italics when addressing sherlock was well done. dope. but what i said still stands, the sherlock part felt kiiinda random.
but yea, i enjoyed reading this. someone who knows more about topicals should really look into these verses and analyze them. hmm..... thinking about it, topical votes are a lot like literature analysis, so i could probably do that too... oh well. good verses from both, rly nice read overall. props to both.
v/lars
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