[Hush]

Mr. J

anything you treasure can be passed on, the lessons to learn
it's unfair to withhold pleasure, that's when obsession occurs

aight so that was dope. Really dug that.
Heres what I didnt like.. when u switched to italics and went into all the -ED rhymes. so cookie cutter, so boring, the scheme so simple. I could have forgave the multies but U wasnt saying anything that resonated either, so I really felt the peice hit a lull here, a major one.. ugh. it was a chore to get through for me. the sherlock holmes tie in made no sense to me as well. it just felt forced and disjarring


Baron

They had a routine with both playing a part
one would stand a few feet away from the mark.
The other came up and started blithering nonsense
making way for his partner to pick at their pockets

less abstract aprouch
simple yet effective
very enjoyable

but man if u didnt nail it 4 lines in

The square that day was heaving so they quicken their great strides
while lying in wait to fleece him, hidden in plain sight!
They switch up and change sides, desperate to lay low,
yet inching their way right toward the depths of his waist coat.

saying the same yet difference and just as eloquent


clutter did his thing here
very enjoyable

u should sell these

v/baron