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Old 11-19-2018, 05:09 PM   #6
Razah
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Chicago.
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I think you guys got stuck with a shitty topic.

Not a huge fan of the whole soldier / war aspect of topicals. Seen them quite a bit, and probably once someone had a fresh take on it.

I didn't really like the second verse. Seemed kind of basic, and I was waiting to get pulled in but never did. Also, it was longer than 30 lines. I definitely noticed once I went through so many lines and still didn't have a, 'ahh that was pretty cool moment.

Artifice's verse was okay. The technicality behind it made it worth it. Rhyme scheme was cool. A few internals were oddly worded, kind of threw the flow off in certain places. Besides that, overall, it was just a more solid verse.

Wish you guys had a better topic, but for now,

vArtifice

PS: How dare you say Chicago is moving backwards.
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