[Certain]

kannon: Your opening couplet is just perfect writing. You took Baron Mynd's rhyme scheme to a new level of diction, creating a very vivid and eloquent image. The verse didn't quite maintain that high the rest of the way, but it was a great effort. Where I think you fell short is in the lack of specifics. You didn't so much tell a story as describe a scene, and you described that scene through generalities rather than specific images like that hat sitting on that curb. Tell me about the people who walk by. Tell me about the history behind your instrument. That's what I wanted more of. I wanted more of that opening couplet's crisp imagery. I really liked this verse quite a bit, though. You ended it well, and you were crisp and clean with terrific mechanical prowess.

Darth Yoda: Your anti-grammatical use of commas annoys me sometimes, but that's about the only complaint I have here. There are so many layers to peal back in this verse, despite it's rather clear subject matter. Swinging from poetic to juvenile at times usually would be a kiss of death, but you worked in those cheeky references smoothly within the context of your eloquent and highly unique voice. That's one of the things I keep thinking while reading this verse: highly unique. Others would have used this topic similarly, but they wouldn't have written it at all this way. My favorite line is "pulsating pitch is a must: we'd never wrap it up to a cymbal of trust. The rhymes and diction are so distinct, and I think that level of separation is what gets you the victory here.

Vote: Darth Yoda