Thread: Ayo...
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Old 06-19-2020, 03:30 PM   #5
Johnny 6 feet
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A hard to tackle topic but you approached it with care and told a sad story which is sadly too often relatable. Some real stand out lines in here:

'Knuckles & knuckles eruptin' to rupture his shell
To a weak upholdin', raised by the buckles on belts'

'How can you be free when violence is used to silence your pain?'

Rhyme scheme was mostly on point, good multi's, a bit of awkward wording here and there but you kept the narrative focused from start to finish. Ever been in the GWL? I reckon you'd fit in pretty well over there.

Nice work, keep posting.

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