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Old 10-08-2014, 11:42 PM   #9
kannon
kickthekan
 
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: fresh coast
Posts: 1,204
Battle Record: 9-6


Champed
- The Mic Check

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Soul. Stupid good man. The metaphor fit perfectly without being overbearing and confusing, etc. The breakdown was great as well. Having each stanza serve a distinct different purpose, and each was beautifully executed, especially the first three and last three bars. Very solid read overall, and one that I felt very naturally encompassed the desired emotion. As for the mechanics, you've always had a solid flow, and you've also always had a strange pattern structure haha. This one was definitely easier to follow than your last though.

Yoda. Admittedly, this is easily my favorite piece you've written this tournament. That being said, I haven't really liked many of your others :/ To me, the best section was bars 12-14. I felt the piece really come together in those bars, and start to flesh out. Unfortunately, the last two bars fell a little flat to me. The beginning started out a bit wordy, if that makes sense for this kind of thing haha. I went back and forth with really liking, and kind of "meh"ing at every other bar. Overall, this was solid, but it felt clustered in places, which ultimately took away a bit from the story.

vote is for soulstice. good job to both though
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