[bleak]

Songs are what I listened to while writing this, hope you enjoy.-b



sup bitches Look how far we have come, everybody. Incredible lost his kids and his league in one fell swoop, Zelph is doing incredible mod work in 1-2, and now they put ME in charge of this travesty. Summer Classic bout ready to get its drops in, HOLY SHIT we really here my guys. Never thought we would reach this point. Shout out to Sn00p wherever u are, Allen Knight for mag inspiration (tho I would never compare) and Sharp fucking Nine for a little mod guidance. I hope everyone is ready for the most patchwork playoff in the history of BAL. Everyone fucking show so I don't waste my time. Btw this mag just a lil mini for the end of the season, I got a Playoff pre mag in the works which will be twice as bad.



PLAYOFF HOPEFULS

@Blue Bayou 8-2
So apparently Hush is the greatest text battler in NC history, but I think Blue is making a run at changing the books (I saw the flaws in my logic from the 1-2 mag btw, I apologize) His attention will undoubtedly be somewhat occupied by the Summer Classic, unless he loses 1st round, but Blue has never had a problem churning out bars on short notice. Look to Bayou as the forerunner in this

@Flow 4-3
Jay has 2 chances currently to get back into form. His latest shit I've read was good but man for a couple weeks I just wasn't feeling it from this usually dependable source. I love a good Welsh verse, I had a lot of fun in our battle from the Rookie tourney, which was the peak of your run. Let's see that again eh?

@Jabari Black 7-3
JB my favorite current battler, his style is established. Sometimes the guy can get too stuck in his ways, but guys like Cred have been doing the same thing for years and still get votes consistently. It's all about keeping it fresh and I think JB is capable of turning that corner into a very solid place at the top of this site. Look to this playoff for a confirmation, if not the Classic.

@Twodrop 6-4
Honestly I've been so caught up in my own battles that 2D kinda flew under my radar. I beat him early in his tenure but this is not the same battler as before. He has picked up some quality wins with quality verses, maybe a dark horse? Only time will tell, dedication to your craft is what sets the great ones apart.

@BodySnatcher 6-3
Ole long neck over here been doing his thing in every league. As part of the New Wave of text, along w/ JB, 2D, & NamiCz, all of these guys have kinda come out of nowhere to bolster the forces of active textcees. All are getting better in every battle. I try my best to keep up and I think the combo of all of them really drives the rest to keep improving. Here's to making vets cry.

@DynamiCz 6-4
Dy been drifting around Champ matches since his first in NBL, he definitely has the talent. The midcard of this playoff is just so unpredictable and all depends on the mood/dedication or each battler. I could see anyone winning this, and while Blue is the favorite, that doesn't mean one of these guys won't catch him slipping. Dy as a dark horse calling it

@DMS 3-0
Lenox said he quit but I think this is the long con. He cleans up his act on a second account and proves that hate votes are real. The truth is, they're not. Or else I think I would still be getting 5 nil'd into oblivion. Sometimes when ur bad, ur bad. But I dont think that Lenox. I think ur doing great work on the DMS account keep it up.

@Barcotic 3-2
His 2 L's are understandable, I think 1-2 took away from the participation factor for Cronus. The modding didn't help. Here's hoping he signs in and attempts to make a little run from the back of the pack.

@Cred 2-2
Da gawd



TOP PUNCH OF LAST WEEK
Cz JB did POTY already

Blue Bayou vs Barcotic
forget getting a Julie-in bed, his head would fucking spin if he kissed her..
he’s only into other Trailer Park Boys.. & every Lahey’s had has been with a Mr.

Cred vs DynamiCz
I’m sick, run in ur crib n head shots have brains look like vomit
Totem pole shit.. That’s one Stick wit ur whole families face up on it

TOP PUNCHES OF THE YEAR
By: Jabari Black

Blue Bayou (Week 7 vs Twodrop)
filmed me fuckin ya bitch so hard a pull in my hammy was felt..
& now we're scared of prosecution, cuz we 'Shot XXX' in a Car in Miami as well


Enbombz (Week 1 versus DynamiCz)
“I stay mean with it "this ain't America" you ain't gonna beat this Brit
You ain't blowing anyone's mind with ya fruity angles, this ain't a Gambino vid”


Barcotic (Week 2 versus King)
"get the msg??? an assault rifle wont hesitate to run in gutters..
think conjoined twins- the Scar will separate u from ur brothers"


DynamiCz (Week 1 versus Enbombz)
“Surround sour joog, the stick hit his body knocks the sweets out ya
He break apart, stuff leakin! Other half still hung to the rope--piñata”


BodySnatcher (Week 1 versus Jabari Black)
"For the Bucks, I’ll be in MIL looking for Duke. Desert eagle safari out the zoo
Red dot headshot, he’s a one & done, that’s how you take Jabari out the Blue"


GUDELJ (Week 5 versus Blue Bayou)
“You date the nastiest of whores, my bros run trains & lay pipe
Bro, that hoes been gettin tagged so much we started callin her Amens wife”


Barcotic (Week 3 versus Orc)
"heard ya mommy pays ur debts, fr. deb is serious
no matter what TJ Oshie'll take care of it in a Second, Period"


Jabari Black (Week 6 versus DynamCz)
“This the End of the Road. I’m letting the four sing like Boys II Men/
Or a K to ya ribcage...‘I gotta stick by ya side’ like a loyal friend/”


Cred (Week 4 versus Blue Bayou)
“Throw a punch wit a right? better have Insurance - I’m at ur gut wit a knife
No1 cares about Blue Cross, Blue Shield on defense wen it comes to a fight”


Blue Bayou (Wk 1 versus Joe Boston)
"she WAS a virgin but since ur gay ass didn't want that pink in the sheets..
i said fuckit. ‘Popped the Cherry n Caymen Cider’ w/out gettin drinks at the beach"

BATTLE OF THE WEEK
Cred vs DynamiCz

Originally Posted by Cred

I’m known for the homi, we stackin that number up for a reason
U don’t got a Body on ur side.. shit, Snatcher already passed u up dis season
I brought the gang in. Head shots is how we handle the clips
Multiple hammers bangin’ off ur roof like we puttin a patch on that bitch
Discreet wit the heat n once u see it, believe heavens waitin
Wait til it’s dark b4 the clip show.. “it’s time for our feature presentation”
I let off that 50 shot wit 1 hand. Either u duck or u better run
Like a poor man tryna make the band.. bitch I bucket wit the drum
I’m sick, run in ur crib n head shots have brains look like vomit
Totem pole shit.. That’s one Stick wit ur whole families face up on it

Originally Posted by DynamiCz

Scary dream, I wake u up....grab the nine make this a scary scene
Machine with the lens! Shooting clips off the wall like it's a projector screen
Metal Scope! Attach it to the laser arm, It need it's own room for biz
Magnify the body..when beams aiming from the attic-Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
You the type to trace some shit! I go an buy the artillery with a stolen card
Stick raise watch him stop..then wave 5 in his direction like a crossing guard
Will Ferrell-Room full of drums, i dare you try to step brother
Bullet graze his New Era, have his fitted hanging side ways-T.I Trap Muzik Cover
5 across his temple-the arm start bending..look like a marines corp salutin
Nicholas Cruz the 9mm! When I take em 2 school it ain't a mass florida shootin

Ight this shit was close imo, votes would have been split had they had time to roll in. Cred held the L for the good of the league and I, for one, thank him for it. Good shit y'all.



WHAT TO WATCH FOR
By: Jabari Black


The return of Lil Lenny

With 2Trip on a hiatus, Lenox is the clear cut number 1 most emotionally unstable niglet on Netcees. That’s actually saying a lot because yall niggas are crazy af.

After a retirement announcement that was overshined by the brilliance of MFTastik (“Kick of the side like Shawn Michaels…..my word), expect his retirement to resemble a WWE retirement moreso than a NFL one.

Lenox is poised to make it into the playoffs so it wouldn’t really make sense for him to stay signed out. Expect to see him sign back in and see if he can shake things up in the playoffs.


HA HA HA 2

The gun bar king, Cred, is signed back into both the BAL and the 1-2 Punch leage. That means you can expect 2 things: the Chicago murder rate to decrease and a bunch of mixtape tracks from Cred.


A Barcotic Sway

In the past few weeks, I’ve been challenging myself to write verses and bars that I love as much as Barcotic loves Barcotic’s verses.


The Kanye West of Netcees has been having a good season so far and has been pretty calm. However, after being alledgely robbed (no Muff shit) last week, we’ve glimpses of what may be in store from Mr. Sway in the Morning. With the competition stiffening as we draw closer to the playoffs, is a Barcotic sway and rage quit on the horizon? I bet against the rage quit but don’t be surprised to see a nice little sway from Barc.


An Infiltrate DQ

I think the only thing more impressive than Infiltrate’s intricate pen is his extraordinary ability to get disqualified. Since I’ve been on this site, Inf has literally only had one loss that wasn’t by DQ which was a originally a DQ but was reversed against Schade in the NBL….smh.

Inf managed to get through the My Brother’s Keeper’s tournament without a DQ which means he’s long overdue for a DQ. With a huge match against his former teammate coming, expect to see one sooner than later.


A Rookie Winning the League

As I’ve stated earlier, this season has been a huge season for the class of 2018. With DynamiCz and myself having champed the league and TwoDrop and Body in multiple contenders matches the rookies have been making some noise. All 4 will most likely have good seeding into the playoffs so it will be interesting to see if one of the newcomers can make a deep playoff run...


...Or Maybe Not

Right above the 4 rookies in the current rankings is the Hall of Famer Blue Bayou. After beating 3 of the 4 previously mentioned rookies back to back to back, Blue will definitely be the guy to beat going into the playoffs.


A Flow Upset
Going into the playoffs, I think Flow is the wildcard. Flow’s had a much better season than his 3-3 record would suggest. Every verse that Flow has dropped this season has been good, but he’s had a tough schedule. Flow really excels in battles against vets where he can use personals, and he hasn’t really faced too many folks who fall into that category this season.

Given the right matchup, expect Flow to shake things up in the playoffs



b's corner:

Baked potato is what I feel like rn my dudes got this new dab in. Anyways I watch a lot of YT vids when I'm bored so I'm gonna use this platform to showcase some of the creators I've been watching, or just talk about bullshit that comes up as I'm typing.

First one is this dope channel that talks about nature in video game terms, putting animals into tier lists/discussing viability of certain "builds"



That one my favorite, cats are cool. Not house cats tho fuck that. Had a cat once that would get in between my couch and the wall when I would go to plug my Xbox in, and scratch the shit out my hand when I reached back there. Little bastard squared up with me every day. Never had a big bro but that cat toughened me up plenty.



Pretty much my mindstate.

The next/last shit is my favorite meme rn and I really hope we can all enjoy it together.



Every time idk what it is about that shit but the dankness is real.

So anyways, GTFO