[uh-oh]

i'm terrible with ho's YO

one chick i did some fly shit with tho back when i was 19ish in akron. i lived with my pops but he was in the depths of alcoholism so he went to work, went to the bar, came home barely able to park and would pass out dead to the world

so the crib was mine basically. well it was a saturday so he would work 7-12 and then be at the bar till damn near closing time. so i had the crib to myself and tried some FLY shit cuz my girl/the girl i was talking to was coming over. i had al green playing through my stereo and every candle i could find lit while i was cooking my specialty of spaghetti and meatballs right.

well she showed up the pure white person she is and thought it was corny, of course it was. but i kept telling her we were gonna have fun

did i mention i was drunk? well she ends up killing my al green and killing my drunk mood by hating like lol your weird. so inside my bloods boiling like motherfucker, steve harvey said this shit would work

so as im killing that and she turns on some mtv garbage reality show, i hear a doorbell

and its another chick and like 3 dudes with beer

so im like wtf yo. well apparently this bitch thought i was throwing a party since i said we would have fun. luckily i had blown out the candles before then since she already killed the vibe

but no worries, she informed them of that. i dont know these people so now im pissed and drunk and in my hayday of buffoonery.

but im holding it together like yo i got this excellent meal i aint giving nobody SHIT. im gonna drink there beer and then kick them out and play world of warcraft forever alone

well it didnt work out as planned. i dont know if you guys know but when im drunk i can't take JAPES and jokes at my expense. well the girl i was fucking with was clowning me a little so i was like WHATEVA WHATEVA because shes on my lap and my hands on her inner thigh and im thinking your gonna eat them words yo. but then one of the dudes like added on to something she said i don't remember

but i tossed her off of me and she tripped over the coffee table awkwardly and i manhandled the one guy. grabbed him by the shirt like in a kids movie where the giant kid picks up the little kid by the front of his shirt

well i didnt pick him up i was just drunkenly pushing him around/through and over stuff his boys jumped up like whoa whoa

and i was in furious rage mode by this point, too much adrenaline to where when i think back im embarassed but it was like blackout rage. i threw the dude out onto my porch and his boys were terrified, bunch of lame skinny weirdos. told em all to bounce

the last dude was trying to put his shoes on and i slapped him in the ear like lets go nigga

but word

that was one of the most depressing events of my life

young depressed hooligan. they all probably think im the devil. but thats what i get for messing with a preppy white chick who was too good for me. with her shitty lame preppy white dude friends in cargo shorts and polo's

i finished that day playing world of warcraft and beating off in my room forever alone