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Old 10-26-2016, 02:35 AM   #11
UnbornBuddha
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I'll keep this short. I have studying to do.

Vulgar you commanded a grand voice. The narrative was very moving, in the sense of navigating the reader through a sense of time. An ebb and flow of it that carries the reader from start to finish. There are some mishaps that do interupt my full emersion though. Your piece is more narrative and oratory now, less musical, and so the rhythym isn't smooth or have much character. That said I enjoyed the ride.

Certain: Your piece had an elegant touch to it. It had a stylistic flair that catches the reader's attention. And it had a poetic nature to it that was fun to read. Admittingly, I've never really enjoyed your pieces before. I recognize you have a strong grasp on writing mechanics, but at the same time bounded to a uninspiring narrative voice. Here this was not the case. It was a great read, and I very much enjoyed it.

That said, I have to give this to Vulgar. I think overall his work was just more elaborate and profound in scope.
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