Seymo - im quite a fan of this style of verse...a flash in the pan/momentary granduer type reflection or occurance . In one moment you were able to weave motive, character and emotions. There was an uneasiness in getting through some of the descriptions due to the vocabulary. At times it felt spot on and at times it felt somewhat high nose for the voice of the verse.
Richard -- im at a loss for words right now. I love this verse for what it is. Technical, lyrical, encompassing and poignant (relatively). Its strange to follow up that sentence, but with all that said it fell flat on delivering the power of your topic. It lacked an empathatical connection I could grasp onto and call my own. Its downfall is what I loved about it...the style of writing it is...
Vote seymo
Last edited by Pent uP; 09-05-2014 at 04:25 AM.
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