[King Ra.]

& the show goes on....


AOWL IV Magazine
WEEK 3: "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Story EDITION"




Welcome AOWLians to a special week 3 edition of the AOWL magazine. The lineup remains deep as we near our first championship match of the season. We have 6 competitors at 2-0 thus far. Two very dope contender matches. And let's not forget some of the other match ups which look just as good. This is going to be a deep mag. We got battle reviews, open mic features, a Certain/Vulgar special feature, no show shine, pre-rankings & predictions. This week, topics are Kanye West quotes & with that, you'll read a review of his "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy" & some Kanye music to help guide you along. Hope you enjoy the read & gain some inspiration/motivation for your match up this week. Epic approved. Let's get to it.







OPEN MIC FEATURE #1

"Rosa Parks"
written by Zen

I GO HARD JUST TYPING FAST.
DRIVING BACK FROM ROSA PARKS.
GOT A FIREARM BLASTING GLOWING ORANGE.
MY CHIROPRACTOR SNAPPED YA. BROKE YOUR ARM.
IM A WISEFUL ACTOR. A SHOWMAN OF SORts.
LIKE JOHN WAYNE. I RODE IN ON A HORSE.
NAWMEAN? YOU KNOW ME FOR SURE
IM A NAZI. YOU ALL SURE ARE DORKS.
LOL FUCK YOUR FACE IM BETTER THAN YOU.
YOU EAT BUTT ALL DAY THAT'S SO GAY OF YOU DUDE.
WHILE MY NUTS ALL IN THIS LADY'S POON.
I THINK HER NAMES SADIE JUNE.
I FUCKED HER IN MY BASEMENT ALL DAY TILL SHE CAME A LOOSE.
MADE HER WATCH PURPLE RAIN TILL SHE BECAME ANEW.
WOKE UP IN A DAZE OF THIS CRAZY HUE.
SAW SPRINKLERS SPRAYING THAT LAZY JUICE.
HA. I DRUNK THAT SHIT BUTT NAKED AT NOON.
THAT ACID TOOK IT. THAT ASS IS GORGEOUS.
I GAVE HER BACK STAGE PASSES FOR AFTER MY PERFORMANCE.
SEE YA BASTARDS. IM OUT THE DOOR. *zip*




Week I Battle Reviews
written by Adonis & timeless

Certain defeats dead man, 5-0.
Blacketh, I'm not sure why you had a free post of “haters” aside from pure troll, but that was the highlight of your week regarding AOWL. Jokes aside, your verse flowed and hit the topic full force with the closing line, other then that, you would have lost to 99% of the league. Get some fire bro, I miss that classic Blacketh vs. Pent uP respect match.
Certain wrote a fast paced story of theft, murder and being on the run. The story was cool, almost too fast paced given all of the characters. The end rhymes were a bit weak, I assume you saw what Dead wrote and sort of just made this verse in one sitting, posting what you had, because to be honest, it didn't have that certain feel to it. The crisp rhyme placement or strong grasp of mechanics. You def had the better verse this week, but it was simply middle of the pack when taking other verses this week into consideration. Which, I guess speaks volumes. Your worst verse ever (possibly) is still better then half the league. Back hand, and compliment, your welcome.


Defiant defeats PancakeBrah, 6-0.
Pancake wrote a simple flex piece dependent on rhyme scheme and witty lines and concepts. It's a fun style, swag and flow-esque. But in a topical battler, no matter who the opponent, nine times out of ten this will catch the L with out a significant concept to back the swagger.
Defiant went a big sadistic, which I love, just wish there were more gruesome details instead of the “open for interpretation” ending. There were some simple grammatical errors that won't help you win next week at all, but considering you did what you needed to in order to secure this W, I can't really fault you. I liked the pace, and look into the relationship as you built a character, maybe this lacked a bit, but still, building a character is a simple tool writers forget about. Overall, this verse wasn't half bad. I liked the ending and emotion your brought forth. Solid writing, looking forward to reading more of your shit because I think the talent, although a bit raw, is evident.


NYCSPITZ defeats kannon, 6-0.
Kannon, I took this as braggadocio, and thought it was done in good taste with above average flow. I rather liked this read, a fast paced, detailed saga of man becoming homecoming king. Even though it was clearly about the emotion the kid feels, him explaining how he got the crown and why he deserves it and shit, I still see you playing a bit with the wording, making us think you are the king. I liked this, but, fairly short and against the novelist NYC, the epic writer himself, I don't think you'll have a chance. We'll see.
NYC, the streak continues. Dating back to the previous seasons, which is the only time I've read a thing from you, I knew as a person who would show up and write one out of four verses. Keying the others and cutting yourself short. But since the Alias tourney it seems you either acquired free time to write, or decided to just try. Either way, this is just another tally on a long streak of some top notch writing. Your use of end rhymes is superb, and given the date, your use of old language was also masterful. I enjoyed this tale of enlightenment. A saga of a man at war, doesn't matter with whom or the outcome for that matter. What did matter, was the lesson learned. “The best men (soldiers in those times) are only as great as there last breath, which they breath upon the next soldier in line, who will die, etc”. Dope verse my friend, one of the better of the season.


Frank defeats 3PA, 6-4. (by timeless)

Frank went with his usual 40-line verse with every rhyme scheme sounding the same. Gets a little repetitive but his comedy was enough to advance past 3pa's weird puzzle of words put together in verse form. Frank needs to switch style up for once.


Vulgar defeats Mr. J, 6-0. (by timeless)
This was BOTW imo. Vulgar's story was enough to surpass J's valiant effort and move onto a much deserved contender's match in week 3.


Unborn Buddha defeats patrown, 5-0.
Patrown wrote the beginning of a very heart felt verse, that was painted in such a somber hue just itching to end on a happy note. Then, he ran out of time what could have been a dope verse died, along with the concept and ex-drug addicted character. WTF bro? This verse was literally shaping out to be one of the better reads of this short season and you went and ruined it. Solid writing from start to end, good mechanics and imagery. Next week try trying, you might like the outcome.
Buddha wrote a novel, literally talking himself through the topic and trying to make sense of it using two characters as analogies. Buddha did not have the best rhyme scheme or structure, he did not have the strongest grasp of flow or character build up for that matter. He simply attacked the topic head on, grappling with helping us understand the difference between rich and poor, good and evil. In the end however, he fell short, as even he was a bit stumped. The verse was a bit long for my usual taste, and I felt lacked a true ending, or satisfying one. Solid verse, and done smart, just not executed at a high level overall.


Witty defeats theMuzzl3, 6-0.
Witty went a bit twisted, which was ironic because this was a tale of love. I think you did decent with character build up, but I still didn't feel the love between the couple as much as I would hope I guess. I will admit, I'm being a bit critical because you obviously had a huge portion of this verse revolving around the strength and bond of the relationship. Anyways, the flow was extremely consistent, not to complex or detailed, but the multies were there. But 99% of the verse had buttery seams, weaving in and out with no snags, which is a very high complement, again, not complex though. This was a decent verse, would have won against more then half the league or so, but this week was on the weaker side of things. I feel like you wrote this in one take, and posted. There were some minute errors which I overlooked because of that fact. Solid writing though.
Muzzle mentioned he wouldn't edit before posting, but he should have. You fell short, although I liked the concept and idea behind the topic, two stories and all, but you fell sorely short in execution. The rhymes were pretty weak, the stories had no real build up or climax, the end rhymes even were a bit slanted here and there, which can be good or bad, but in this case there were no stellar rhymes to mask them, thus leaving them in the open revealed. I think if you fleshed this concept out and added some inners or multies, it would have had more success. As is though, below average at best.


Greed defeats Innovator, 6-0.
Greed, for the second week in a row dropped all flow, but this time added a little wrinkle in attempting to have a concept. Greed will be known all season to have a pretty polished flow, but the other aspects (especially take on concept) may lack. Greed won due to Inno dropping nada, but greed actually had a decent verse that would have won against quite a few other artists. Continue to improve bro.
Inno, as always dropped that poetic pendulum swinging to and fro, only this time left well before the fat lady opened up her wind pipes. Inno has a knack for procrastinating, thus, a knack for shooting him self in that pinky he calls a dick. I don't man, I feel like I could say this verse had some really solid points in it, but I won't. I really did like your verse before you prematurely finished...See what I did there? No homo

No Show Shine
written by Adonis

Split– I'm not going to lie bro, I'm not clear as to the direction you went here. There was some sound writing in the opening lines

Originally Posted by Split

descent into vanity's clutches. It's this type of vantage he covets.
Emboldened, centered, no- he tampered with dozens.
Crimped into samples, sins spliced a glowing merit to justice-

But the direction was lacking IMO. I see you were going for a young murderer, sadistic soul that was merely doing what he was taught, but I'm not sure why. There was an extreme lack of detail or character or emotion. It was just words the explained a little bit of this character, then ended. Not the biggest fan of this verse if I can be blunt, but we all know you can be a force if you apply the skill you posses.


Dove Dozer– Is that you in the Av? Been meaning to ask.

Originally Posted by Dove Dozer

Eleven men besides myself in a boat both small and light,
Pushed off for heavens gate in the first watch of the night.

What an opener, this sets a scene perfectly, great usage of imagery and plot build up. High Praise here. “Shipping water, stern and bow” made me chuckle, great CHOICE of words using pun. This was a very dope read my friend, I fear I lit a fire above your chode. You had a few grammatical errors that may very well cost this verse multiple spots in the end of season top 25...I.e “It's I don't be afraid” etc. There were three such minor errors. But this was still a very good read from start to end. You provided a somber tone with your writing that read extremely smooth. The fluidity helped for sure, but at times I will admit that the schemes were not as complex as I prefer, but I can't fault you because it WAS fluid. Two verses in a row where you've far exceeded my expectations, so by that nature, according to my prediction of the opening mag, you are destined to lay a goose egg. Here's me changing that vote and recognizing a trying No Good over what he's produced in the past. Look forward to next week.


timeless– I liked this verse bro. It read relatively smooth with solid progression. The imagery though, that was the key...

Originally Posted by Timeless

It's a joke when I seen that my fucking 'fridge was broken.
Untapped 30 racks of Pabst and venison straps,
my frozen weed medicine snacks. Hell must be back.
No relish, no snacks.
Thawed to the bone flat under a new Phoenix heatwave.
Deemed the sun was trouble as soon as I seen it eat cake.
I had to move fast, had to destroy the giants star.
If I don't, I'll be forced to lose weight, and a diet's hard.

You littered this verse with humor which is always welcomed as that is a change in norm. The verse to me was crystal clear, about a man in hell, living out his karma until the never end of time. The fluidity was good, although there was a hiccup here and there, not nearly often enough to make me care though as the good far outweighed the bad. Good solid verse, but I doubt this humorous style could out match the elite in this league, but again, very nice change of pace.


Listen-

Originally Posted by Listen

Understand the dilemma? I have personalities that are bi-polar,
And my disorder revokes my ownership to one of the owners.
So if you ask me for a story? I would tell you which one…
And if you ever want to be ME? It’s only natural that I say pick one.

Some very dope contrasting writing here, some food for thought type imagery that was enjoyed. “Smart-ass or sans the smart” is another fine choice in wording. This verse started extremely slow because I did not like the “Where did IT go? I can not find YOU”. But as the story progressed, the skill was made evident, the clash in concepts was thoroughly enjoyable. The individual line concepts were borderline stellar, and this ended as one of the more enjoyable verses of this week. I don't know how much time you spent on this, or whether or not you take your time at all in writing in general. But this read as a quick read, but still progressed in fluidity regarding pace as well as had meat to chew on, or depth to it. I think you def could string together some high profile wins depending on the hunger to do so. Look forward to next week.


CopyPat– Yet another verse of pure LOLZ...

Originally Posted by CopyPat

And I’m generally friendly, but that is personal information
That we posted online in a virtual situation
On a public website that’s secured from it being taken
So you heard me, don’t be fakin like you’re my Terry, my doll
And in turn I won’t be made to get the Sheriff involved
Cause I really do cherish you all…I’m just embarrassed is all

You had some strong rhymes for the most part, but some lines came off a bit simple. The content though shined, demeaning another human being is always awesome to be completely honest. All in all though, there were some chuckles and solid lines, but this verse is not one of the better of the week. It lacked a certain factor that would have carried this attempt past the upper echelon of the week. I'm not sure what it lacked other then a hint of seriousness, what I mean is that Gimmicks are largely hit or miss. Although this was more hit then miss, it still just wasn't good enough to be elite.


Adonis– Keyed up a no-show verse of sorts to ensure his undefeated run in season 4 doesn't end. This "verse" had the potential to be award winning in all things 'imagery' related. He also tied in the topic ever so concisely on the end. A+ Here's my favorite excerpt :

Originally Posted by Adonis

"The mossy mush croaks as toads are sloshing about. "

Soulstice– Your style is yours, and you have crafted it very well. The use of broken up sentences sprinkled between 2-3 line intervals is done well in the rarest of cases, but when you do it I don't mind because you still manage to grasp fluidity of schemes while progressing the story at your own pace. This verse was the same as the rest. Great writing and great story telling that, per usual, is left to be interpreted differently in the eyes of anyone who reads it. This was one of my favorite verses of the week, or season for that matter.

Originally Posted by Soulstice

Her neck looked severed already. From the perspective presented
By the axes reflective dimensions. It's oddly beautiful shine
Also twisted the executioners inscrutable guise to a smile
She disconnected. Sounds vanished silently, the crowds roar scoring her death
She awaits the finale and she quarters her breath.

Prime example of sentences broken between lines done in nice taste. This verse packed quite a bit into it. From the imagery of the girl losing her head, to her ghost wondering about, living in her purgatory it seems. She was convicted to death by beheading. She was given two paths, either die in the woods and have her siblings see the same fate. Or kill her “would be murderers”, saving her siblings, but being convicted by beheading. I might very well be way the fuck off here, but like I said. You have a way of writing stories that lead each reader a different route, which is rare and awesome.


Pinot Grij–

Originally Posted by Pinot Grij

Lived the high life, I mean REAL high, dude been hype from the start
He once rappelled into a volcano just to light his cigar
He goes extreme upon any scheme that any man could embark
When he goes surfing, he does it on top of actual sharks
He’d race speedboats through crevices the width of a keyhole
And when he did a little jizz would shoot out of his pee hole
He lived for the rush, and could get any bitch that he wants
Fill up her guts, spill all his nut, then she’d fix up his lunch

Prime example of how to fit a topic into something other then emotionally riddled transgresses against the art of writing. Pinot, you've mastered this art, and I praise you for it. The flow was keen, as you used a lite stroked scheme for a heavy stroke of meaning and humor. I appreciate the fact that you kept this verse extremely simple, I'm talking as simple as it gets. There was no deciphering this verse as it was as face value as face value can be. I haven't read every verse this week, but this will def be a top 4 of the season at least. @Legaue – Learn something by reading this verse


Dominate– Wrote a tale of corporate greed and the kings spoiled. This verse was lacking in a few areas my friend. The flow was decent, but there were just too many breaks in scheme to keep fluidity at a steady pace.

Originally Posted by Dominate

The results had concluded significance. After years of immovable diligence, we had the cure. Pharmaceutic deliverance. The elation was fevered. Back slapping, we partied & lit cigars from a Bunsen burner, talked of Nobel laureateship.

You can break the sentences up in every which way from Tuesday, but in the end if it's choppy you really can't piece it together. I might be a bit harsh because to be honest it's not horrible as I read those few bars, but none the less, me saying it's dope and will get you a win does no good what so ever. The context in the verse fell short as well. It was simply too short a read for you to properly build a character and progress the story, instead you kept it short and ended using the same concepts as you did in the beginning. No real sense of “finished” here, just done.[/QUOTE]