2k – back off my plum juices, brah. I kinda lol’d at the freeman like morgan part. Your character seems lonely. Perhaps he should stop eating his companions? I liked this.
about the same time America was discovered by Europeans
but life is still short since crucifixes can damage this demon
your assonance wasn’t perfect, I probably would have said can’t damage my demons so the y’s lined up as well. It was off but I liked this bar. And just so you know, it’s garlic that vampires do not like. Not onions. Lol. I guess they are in the same family of plant… “gotta end this tight,” no. never acknowledge the fact you are writing the piece in the actual words of the piece. It just is bad practice and never ends well. And you did kind of switch from vampires to wherewolves, as was said before. But in the end, this piece is an improvement for you. I suggest you put somebody intellectual like sage francis into Pandora and listen to all the different things it plays for you. Get a feeling for what hiphop is. PM me if you would like music suggestions.
J – I liked your approach. If I could have rented blockbuster for 3 days back in the day.. heh.. anyways. Your character was pretty upset near the end about a movie rental. But hey, you knew youd win. You did.
/j but in all reality his brevity nearly cost him a vote from me. 2k tried his ass off. You coulda written more.
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