Thread: 10,000 P.C.E.
View Single Post
Old 08-15-2019, 11:24 PM   #13
PancakeBrah
SOBER
 
PancakeBrah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 13,052
Battle Record: 2-5


Champed
- AOWL Season 2

Rep Power: 85899406
PancakeBrah has a reputation beyond reputePancakeBrah has a reputation beyond reputePancakeBrah has a reputation beyond reputePancakeBrah has a reputation beyond reputePancakeBrah has a reputation beyond reputePancakeBrah has a reputation beyond reputePancakeBrah has a reputation beyond reputePancakeBrah has a reputation beyond reputePancakeBrah has a reputation beyond reputePancakeBrah has a reputation beyond reputePancakeBrah has a reputation beyond repute
Default

All I do is write nonsensical non-rhyming paragraphs about vaguely remembered vaginas and Nicorette every 12 months when I'm drunk in the Open Mic Cypher then I delete them the next morning. This, is art. All of the lines are well measured, and pretty close to the same length in terms of Netcees message boards typeface. And there are double entendres. And its kind of like, computers vs. not-computers, in comparison WITHIN the double entendres. A serpent like Steve, is my favorite pun because it's just a descriptive bullshit line barely hanging onto the creative idea of the piece. And adding the (S) to leaf was a masterstroke. Instead of just saying leaf, which still rhymes (it's a more nuanced rhyme, I.M.O.) you let the reader know you know how plurality works (with a wink because its leaves but you know that haha!) but also let the reader know how the reader should read, which is necessary because you are smarter than the reader.

Let's break down a line

"The Oracle perceived"

The oracle is, like, a seer or something and was, like, revered, and what have you, during the old times.

Oracle is also a computer company.

Dope.
__________________
If I ventured in the slipstream
Between the viaducts of your dreams
Where immobil steel rims crack
And the ditch in the back road stop
Could you find me?
PancakeBrah is offline   Reply With Quote