[dead man]

here's what i've gathered from your posts (and feel free to correct me if i'm wrong):

you eat like shit, chain-smoke, are inactive, purposefully reclusive, and high during as much of your free time as possible.

for such an intelligent dude you seem to be living like another moron waiting to die. and you've convinced yourself this is the only appropriate mindset for whatever reason.

shocking that you'd develop such neurotic tendencies.

just know that you're doing everything you need to be doing in order to continue feeling shitty.

keep it up.