NYC - I enjoyed this story for two reasons...it was well fleshed out with a marked beginning, middle, and end...and it was different, I haven't read a topical that has used this idea before, having the two characters being raised together almost as siblings and then entering a sexual relationship was inspired and not many people would have thought to go down that road. The rhyming in this was off at times and I think you can definitely do better but as far as your story...I loved it.
Inno - there were certain parts of this verse that were achingly poetic, you really have a gift for making something beautiful using very few words, I actually think you are much more suited to shorter verses, sometimes there is a certain amount of filler in your longer verses and it kind of detracts from the overall vibe of the piece at times. There were parts like that in here but not too many. I liked the story and I felt a lot of empathy for the woman, you did a good job describing her desperation...there were a lot of visual moments. Flow was choppy at times but still easy to follow.
I am going with NYC.
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He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime.
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