Thread: Write Week 9
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Old 03-11-2018, 05:33 AM   #16
sral
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Okay so I've omitted NJ because he's dipped from the site...

Mr J's seemed like a keystyle of sorts to the topic again hand, enjoyed the alliteration right at the start, flow and scheme was cool from a technical standpoint, the various tie-ins throughout were cool but seemed to read more train-of-thought than having a direct, clear, direction in mind and with some of the other guys choosing to go that route it made there's seem more polished and complete. Jays keys and quickness get largely overlooked though, I rate that ability.

Brokenhal0 did his usual thing of losing the reader in what he was talking about, it's always that connection with the reader that lets him down, I don't know if he knows how to get his point across with clarity or make his verses relateable to the audience but it's a recurring problem for him in so much as the verses read like he just writes some quick-ish to please himself and while that's a good thing in some instances, to win one of these you have to at least have the readers feel what you're saying and appreciate it be that the original idea, the technical merit to the writing, the writers voice speaking to them... There has to be SOMETHING and he rarely has that quality to his writing. He won't win one of these until he can connect with the audience in some way.

MMLP: You did your thing here, mixed it up well between relevant content and technical skill, it lacked a little clarity where you seemed to focus so strictly on the scheme and adhering to it but otherwise this was the best take on the topic so far. Again, quite direct at the subject matter, not as out-the-box creativity wise as we have seen from you but I enjoyed "Is science, fiction?". Good job.

Geno: While I see what you did in relation to the topic here, and it was the most original so far of these for me, something felt like it was missing. You know? It's like the verse didn't know what it wanted to be this week, at times it was braggadocio-esque and I felt that because of my battle background but doing that in a topical format is always a risk. Still, it's a risk i think paid off because you had the most creative entry so far.


Concrete came out of left field with this and had one of the best verses. I'm not really a fan of -tion rhymes being carried over so I was glad to see you switched it up. This flows well, technical skill was cool as well as a neat little verse directed to the topic. This and MMLP's were the better from a technical standpoint, the two head and shoulders above the rest of the competition this week. Genos was the more creative verse. Tough one to call but I'd probably have it as Geno in third, Concrete a close second and MMLP just edging it from a technical standpoint because I enjoyed the skill in carrying over the same multi string throughout. There's not a lot between them though.
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