artifice, you were goin pretty strong but halfway thru that flow seemed interrupted and I wsn't sure what to make of it. I don't think u reworked this too much, but for what it's worth there was some emotion there and your story is well rounded. gj on the rhyme emphasis near the end, it was relatively powerful.
master rock - idk dude you were kinda just throwing shit against the wall and waitin for it to stick like.. "I smell lead" in that line could have used some build up.. just throwing shit out there don't work you gotta build up rhyme schemes and create patterns within your work or reading it is like biting into a dry ass turkey sandwich with no water.
art got this battle for a more well rounded piece, but it could have gone either way had they ironed out some kinks. good show for the topic provided.
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