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Old 03-28-2015, 02:22 AM   #7
Certain
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,072
Battle Record: 40-19


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Soulstice: I think this is basically your weakest form. You come up with a very detailed and elaborate scene (or two) and go painstakingly granual, but you never let us see the forest from the trees. Your writing at times was really deft, and I put together the story at the end, though I didn't like the bait-and-switch. But the scene-setting didn't really interest me. It lacked movement, which became very noticable with the length.

UnbornBuddha: This verse was so long, and your writing can be so laborious. It's difficult to read your writing at times because of how unnatural the phrasing is. It's not at all like anyone would speak or even write in prose or poetry. It's like academia squeezed into a rhyme scheme that doesn't quite fit. But your content can be very good sometimes. I didn't think you justified the lengths, but I did think your verse was more interesting than Soulstice's. That leads to the value judgment: Should I be voting for the verse I preferred reading or the verse that gave me more when I was done? I'm leaning toward the latter. You rewarded the painstaking read. But I do wish you wrote in a more natural syntax.

Vote: UnbornBuddha
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