2tripple0 -
i like sail concept. It started off kind of slow and hard for me to engage interest in a little though... but I liked the direction at the end, opposed to when I had started .. so it has a couple of solid lines that stand as the legs of this piece to me. “I am the face that never will appear on the shore.” And “Slowly over time the water became more and more disgusting.” It meant the most to me and served as direction changers to me. They were soild. Overall decent piece that could be better with some more polishing as far as the articulation of the piece goes.
Adonis:
I really like the opener on this one. Great rhymes scheme on the first few bars and that instantly drew me in because I just enjoy schemes a lot. Content was dope. Was worded really well and it gave me an old timey feel. It was written in a uniquely expressive format .. seems like the writer was experessing his personal emotion through scenarios and imagery irrelevant to his actual self. Shit was cool.
V/Adonis
|