[kannon]

Honey Bunches Of Oats. Started off strong. Schemes were dope. I like the "our physical laws are trivial novels" line. Flow was pretty solid aside from the multiverse line. Ending was cool too. Kind of bringing it all around into one big "people have been wrong about shit for thousands of years, and you're wrong about this." It's a pretty creative way to tie into the topic as well. I felt like the progression of the piece was perfect, and it fit great into a ten bar structure. This might be one of the only pieces I've read yet than I genuinely dont think could have been improved if given more bars. This accomplishes everything it sets out to, without over-killing the idea, in a 10 bar frame. The only thing that made me kinda go "meh" was the second exclamation. I dont know why, but doing it twice kinda felt cheap to me? Like, you set the example, and then just added "IT'S GRRRRREEEAT!" which is fine once, but twice is meh. Other than that, I really liked this. Good shit, hombre.

You ain't gone Di'Ode, you gone die at 21 (I dont know why that line still stands out to me). First off: Gross. This is one of those times where your imagery makes me hate you. I dont wanna know the placenta's surfing patterns. Asshole. Ugh. *shivers* Anyway. First two bars seem short, but whatever. They set the scene. I can't quite decide if I love the ending, or if I hate it. I love the way it kinda commentates on how quickly people become their own identity, and with a "sudden swiftness" kids can kind of disappear from their parents life. Almost as if they aren't just another "face in the crowd" in the larger sense, but also in relation to their direct family. Conversely, I felt like you went from focusing 9 bars on one very specific incident, to jumping into a bit of a vague idea in the last bar. Overall, this was well written, if not too descriptive. And the topic work was pretty solid too...

You two are both obviously skilled writers, but two things decided this one for me. First, Oats's schemes in the first four bars were stupid dope. And second, I kinda just liked Oats's take on the topic more. I'm also coming to realize that having people write on the same topic is borderline useless. I dont think I've seen many battles where the topics were interpreted similarly.

Anyways, votes for oats.