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Old 06-13-2015, 07:26 PM   #11
Vulgar
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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CopyPat - Ya know, this wasn't bad at all. I always like the continuous, solid rhymes you like to employ, almost reminds me of 'sematic' from Rapflava. Nostalgia, eh? This was decent though, a little empty of creativity. I think you make topics harder than they really are. You can manipulate this topic into any fun/enchanting direction that you want, so you can add humor to a storyline you see fit to tell. I didn't choose this topic to challenge you - I thought it'd actually be a dope photograph to interpret. You have at least one ounce of religiousness and holiness in your belief system... c'mon son.

UnbornBuddha - Interesting take. Sweet and sour, IMO. The Buddha's subconscious inhabits the mind of a boy who is having a conversation with the divine one. He seems to be rebellious at first, pledging that Buddha is obsolete to him, a powerful deity in the form of a Tozan. He is neutralized in the end by the wisdom of the universe, for the Buddha has no enemies. I thought you started off strong, giving us an exotic character. I wasn't feeling the Neo reference too much, I think it strays off topic when you use a film reference in a story the reader is supposed to be convinced is real. The first two stanzas rhymed real well, the third falling off a bit with some simple schemes.

My vote goes to Unborn. He attacked the topic with much more passion and had superior execution.
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