[PancakeBrah]

The entire first section was awesome, aside from bottling fluids line which fucked up the flow a bit. The tempestuous auspices line would've done the same but the tempting the sorceress/tempestuous auspices off-guard-almost-rhyme-does-it-rhyme?-no-it-doesn't-rhyme-but-its-so-cool wording made it dope. First section was vintage Vulgarian Text Form Level 3. It was one of those sections that if I had the time or interest I'd do the long-form breakdown and bold shit and point out my favorite wordings, etc. Imagine I did that.

"Genetics Vonnegut-dated, yet Verne actuated"

Line of the battle.

"Exiled to Titan for being a too-tightened screw
Genderless martians crept through the mosses of a blue-lichened moon
accompanied only by the sound of the Foo Fighter's tunes"

Fuark. You do have a tendency to throw in pop references to create a dichotomy with your studious/earnest/serious tones but here it actually served as a real double entendre, not a one-off, in keeping with the piece. Portion was butter smooth, too. There are smoother substances than butter but that's the saying. No disrespect intended.

Last section was the worst. Still good. Drove the point home, so there's points for that.

I find that your single line metaphors are bit hackneyed at times but your long-form metaphors (ideas throughout a piece, significant sections, whole verses/drops) are top notch. Weird.

This was good, I liked this take on your style.

I'm dumb so I got a bit lost at the beginning looking for the perspective/point but I got there at the end. You're always saying something behind all the pretty aesthetics of your verses and crisp rhymes.

Keeping doing you.