[Certain]

I've been completely swamped with work but read these two three times each over the last few days. My feedback will be more in-depth in the magazine.

YDK: The hook was OK. Some people on these sites hate hooks. But music has hooks. The approach to the topic, while creative, was a bit weird and didn't really work because it didn't approach realism enough for me. But your writing was mostly clean, and there were a few very nice emotional sections.

Adonis: I'm not surprised to see a verse like this be your downfall. You sometimes just seem to give the middle finger to your readers and write whatever words you think will sound nice in order. There was plenty of interesting diction here, but the content was impossible to decipher. I'd like to know what you had in mind, but it ultimately doesn't matter if the reader doesn't get it. You could have won this battle fairly easily with a more traditional approach.

Vote: YDK