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King Ra. · 01-15-2018, 06:10 PM

I believe what stood out to me the most, and really made me appreciate the story were the last 4 lines, because at first read through, I got kind of lost in the direction you were going. It almost seemed as if you were writing a throwaway piece with YDK not showing (this is not a knock on you, rather I came to that assumption after reading the first 4 lines). But as I continued, everything started tying together and by the end, I fully understood the overall story, which I must commend you for being pretty slick with taking this image and putting together a nice, short tale. As Diablo mentioned, the flow of the entire piece was very smooth and I admired the elevation of each line the further the read got. All in all, I wish YDK showed up, but what you put together was a solid story powered by a silky flow.

Good stuff.

01-15-2018, 06:10 PM	#8
King Ra. The Throne, The Crown Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,667 Battle Record: 21-35 Rep Power: 1932960	I believe what stood out to me the most, and really made me appreciate the story were the last 4 lines, because at first read through, I got kind of lost in the direction you were going. It almost seemed as if you were writing a throwaway piece with YDK not showing (this is not a knock on you, rather I came to that assumption after reading the first 4 lines). But as I continued, everything started tying together and by the end, I fully understood the overall story, which I must commend you for being pretty slick with taking this image and putting together a nice, short tale. As Diablo mentioned, the flow of the entire piece was very smooth and I admired the elevation of each line the further the read got. All in all, I wish YDK showed up, but what you put together was a solid story powered by a silky flow. Good stuff. __________________ Vetwork, bitches.