[Mr. J]

this was an interesting take from both writers...


Soul, I really dug your verse man, it reminded me of some Jim Henson stuff
really making the topic your own and carrying through with a vivid tale
I really enjoyed the opening section when I started..

On his triple-crown Pegasus, the City-Cloud eminent
of all race-adept steeds. With a bottle of golden elixir
in one hand, the other: a magnificent vixen
To be forgotten tomorrow, she'll be lost in the bottle

This little area was dope, and really worth the read
as it progressed you picked up the pace and went in depth
but after this section I felt like you lost focus on where you were going

In the morning, cups and precious jewels littered the lawn and
Ancient amulets hung from the intricate fauna
Last night was awesome, he mused in hungover pride

And it's sad because I really enjoyed how it was working out for you...
either way this was a good piece coming from you breh, different but cool

Pent, Well I thought this was a step back for you...
the rhymes & the pace of your piece seemed really rushed
for me it's not up to par with your usual work you do
I've seen you drop more well rounded pieces than I can mention
not saying it was bad, it's just not what I'd expect from you

A line such as one on paper this verse is penned in.
Constructed from previous dots, who's measurement is endless.
The further it's traveled the greater the distance -


This little section was really well put together.
I thought the transition from World 1 to World 2 was cool

Is insane in a sense. A space of spaces affixed
to each other - I suspect this is where we may just exist.
The consensus is "Time," but I think that Dimension is "Five."
In this Dimension: space is the element of design.
The information allows matter to strengthen and fly

This was pretty cool to you pick steam back up towards the end
maybe the opening is where you really lost me but at the end it picks up
either way I felt this was a standard pent verse...nice work breh

v/To be honest I felt that both writers came correct in their areas of expertise
both having their moment to shine while they both had areas I found trouble with
I did enjoy everything up until the end of each piece...
but I'm going to have to give this to Pent, the closure in his piece felt well contrived
anyway good battle fella's keep it up


v/Pent