you both dropped dope.
Three Planes
This was really good imo. From a technical standpoint, I really liked how you played with the scheme, interweaving the syllables back and forth. Read really smooth and had a nice cadence that you don't see too often in text. Plot-wise, I dug this. You've got a metaphorical way of describing your narrative that works quite well. Finally, I dig the vocab. harangue and pines are not common verbiage, but they fit well into the piece.
Adonis
This was real nice. I had to read it a couple times to get the whole picture, but if I have, I really like how you flipped the subject, and had the role-reversal between the main character and what they're describing. Flow was real smooth, you've definitely got a poetic vibe to your writing which works well. Your downfall this week, imo, was that you ended up (due to noshows) matched against an opponent who brought a cool plot and a slightly more advanced piece of work mechanically speaking. Had you faced your original opponent, I think this verse would've won.
Close, but I got 3PA taking this one by a bit... good reads from both.
v/ 3PA
|