Sinacog,
Opening started out cool. Not sure if sought as heartless makes sense, also, I would've used a different word than sought as to not use it twice to keep the same scheme going. Liked in imagery but then something like love booms shine. “love booms shine”. That doesn’t make sense to me. Dark catharsis, I get it. It’s becoming repetitive. Fairies not forsaking their hums, that’s pretty cool. Closer was dope.
I don’t know how I feel about this piece. I actually liked most of the wording, and shit flowed really smooth for the most part. What kind of ruined this for me, was the repetitiveness. Dark catharsis, jargon, sought, sought, sought, light.. I feel like if certain lines were removed, where it was just a reiteration of something already said, this would have made for a more, straight to the point piece, which I would have preferred. Good piece, just, got boring to me having to re-read certain things. It was cool for a bit, but I think it was done too much. Still solid though.
Maximus,
Cool. Looks like you’re sticking to a scheme. passion baths. Lost me. I wanted to read it with baths rhyming, but it makes more sense as bathes. i'll save you from an avalanche, become your airbag in a crash. Should’ve kept the scheme going bruh! Anyways, read the rest of the piece, and it was cool. Repetitive as well with the , grab my hand, but, I got over it. I liked that you tried to keep a consistent scheme and threw internals in which made some of the switch ups transition better.
There were parts of Sinacog’s verse I enjoyed more. His rhyming, his imagery, but- It was just too repetitive for me, the good was outweighed by what made me lose interest. Maximus had a solid verse, was less repetitive (which was weird that both guys used repetition) but, it wasn’t as bad. It kept me more interested than Sinacog’s verse. Im’a have to give it to him for that reason alone.
vMaximus
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