Quote:
Originally Posted by Diablo
That battle took me FOREVER to break down, I must have gone back to it 3/4 times adding more
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Would you like my quick defense/breakdown of my own verse? I’d try to do it quickly. Lol. Thanks for readin thoroughly Lars, & all.
***EDIT @
Diablo
@
brokenhal0
Thanks readers AND voters for trudging through my eye test and hal0's lack of line limit.
Lars, the quoted wiki part you mentioned was MUCH shorter of non-rhymes...as the first few lines and a tiny part of the middle of that section did rhyme.
Yes, it's lazy to do a pure-wiki, but the movie reviews were FIRE
And as a self proclaimed "Servant Journalist", this is the ultimate "literal" reference material for a "setup" where I know Hal0 will be providing the majority of the barz...
My opening "bar" is an easy hook, as is the spelled out hook area of the repeated quick couplet about the Persian's "back way in"...
So in my first short verse there are two hooks available...
My second (admittedly lazier verse) is just the setup for hal0...of course he chose his own mythology/material but the reference was a peace offering for him to make more stanzas ...muahahah
THIS ISNT JUST COPYING AND PASTING WIKI
Servant Journalist, your pharaoh bookmarked and absorbed 8-10 Wiki links about the battle, the movie, the goat-path...CONDENSED them mentally, only referenced later when needed and BOLDED the obvious rhymes...
Regular text was my bars, italics was Wiki quotes (99% accuracy on quotation marks and referencing), BOLD was my added or found rhymes, UNDERLINES were for reference materials or a special emphasis, so sorry for the EYEsores.
and the movie critic at the end PERFECTLY summated the topical match. We didn't really need voters....BUT, still they are wanted and it always helps. And my perhaps deserved "reference" "L" will motivate me more, as I continue as a hack writer to feedback/vote/write on the site for 2 weeks.
THIS IS A VERSE VULGAR SHOULD PRINT OUT AND CLUTCH WITH HIS PAJAMAS AS HE CRAWLS UNDER THE COVERS
THIS IS A VERSE ZYGOTE WOULD APPRECIATE THE "SPECIFIC" ARROW #'s CHOSEN, IN THE HUNDREDS&THOUSANDS BUT THE NUMBERS AREN'T RANDOM: IT'S FOR DELIVERABILITY OR delivery ability...
--End rant...
Thanks for reading----Nextttttttttttttt Nice drop hal0, as I said in OM area.
P.S. Lars practice "delivering" nonrhyming prose, and the more takes the better...u find/rhymes, speed up or w/e, all4practice
**Sorry if that swayed reader or voters.
It's just that I saw hal0 had already did it, Lars took the time, and I was excited to re-feedback, and frankly that vote-count is decent for leagues these days....