[Bladed Thesis]

Hello Darkness, My Ole' Friend

eyes drip with terror so often hopeless,
I've lost my focus many hours earlier, claustrophobic.
the taunts so poignant of God, His motives,
understanding the importance of life is the step so oft remotest.
mouthing prayers, eyes red - sobbing, swollen.
have I gone unnoticed? must I prod and poke him?
lungs gasping for air, mind wants atonement,
but realization is a helluva drug, a flawed devotion.
gritty fingernails chipped raw and broken,
from wanton gropin' attempts to claw this box to open.
remembering past sins, a mirage of solace.
coffin barely wide enough for a man, I knock elbow tips.
in this sea of dirt, I rock the boat, yes.
screams begging, I fumble words and talk with slowness.
snatched from my house nonchalant and stolen.
sleep timeless as space then shuddered with a jaunt, awoken.
very quickly realized this was not my home then
but a box enclosed in. The seconds became daunting moments.
mind almost cracked, this new haunt atrocious
until I stopped with closed fists and became strong, ferocious.
a caged beast turned distraught is potent.
breath caught and frozen, this went beyond enclosed men.

hours later...

c02 levels near deadly and fatigued to the bone,
will beaten, dethroned as my wheezing reached a new tone.
breath leaving me slow, eyes retreating with groans;
every last second I plead, bemoan the proceeding unknown.
no bright light, am I asleep at the feet of throne?
they say Jesus would know but could even he be this alone?
creeping to sow comes the reaper of souls,
celestial thief uncontrolled and my death a beacon aglow.
am I leaving below or to streets sheeted in gold?
one or the other, the sequence is cold as my genius enfolds.
fearing those gates where St. Peter will hold
my grievous secrets to show, sins too egregious exposed!

sleep is then close...

waist down, I can't feel my knees or my toes.
is this the mystique I supposed? the defeat of my whole?
soon the reaper receives what he's owed,
and I attempt with every breath to deceive him, postpone,
interweave and machine a discreet interpose
that might cause the reaper to pose and keep me from the throes.
alas as you read this, I'm asleep and at home,
comforted by my achievement renown to cheat Jesus, the Reaper and even my soul!
it's treason, I know, but read this in prose:
protecting every last breath has a consequence even we can't suppose!