Rebirth
I'm
Haunted by the memories of places I've been
Of my faceless past sins, palpitations' & spins
Running up endless stairs. Up lifes' downward slopes
Knowin' the old, preparing up there Mountains of Hope
But I'm twisted in cobwebs, trapped in insidious plots
Just a spider asleep, life is feedin' me insects and rot
Crawling to the surface like fat worms after hard rain
My memory is power, like if a dream could star gaze
My dreams go uninterpreted, like a letter never read
It's the better end--I'm bitter for being altogether dead
Fuck choices I made, pleasures are some how sufferings
Just allow my voice to now measure
out these mutterings:
*
I'm still thirteen years old, joining a cult to find love
I'm the awkward bookish boy, adults' lies like OJ's glove
Their acid acceptance is my emotional oxy clean shine
Promise of fair weather but passive storms never reside
I'm still seven, and a Venus Flytrap tryin' to be mysterious
As my parents joke at the end of a marriage, why so serious ?
I'm still seventeen, walking in my first bid of doomed freedom
Somehow, even now I can't believe I just got rid of REASON
I still live in my car, years after founding a new family
Renting more permanent hurt. Astounding is my agony!
All the police, and criminals, and false friends linger & chill
Most are in my head; they're all sleepin' on box springs still
It's still my wedding day, the day of the birth of my child
The day we got the autism diagnosis, downward little smiles
It's the day my wife left me, and the day I left my wife
It's today, my child and wife in the oceans called life
Me on the shore, scribbling this essay in front of dolphins
It's all those times, together with thirty nails in my coffin
When you make truly significant life choices, remember this
Before you age, or commit a crime, use drugs, flash your tits
Or get married, or choose to be homeless: all splendor is shit
Some of these choices are crossroads, a direction you choose
Dreams can and will change you forever, a suggestion I use:
Treat your mind as a museum you must curate
In time a REBIRTH must come, it's not life but fate
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