[Pharaohs Army]

MMLP:
So we have the plight of a caught fish, from the fish's POV, told in good detail and imagery.
the blading unrelenting with a number of cuts
the suffocating had intensified as I struggled to puff
in a puddle of blood,
Good.
til the bait teased us
I like the way you phrased it.

Ultimately here, the highlight is your rhyme scheme and execution.
It's a shame you're up against Lars, because he rhymes just like you so there's less of a gap as far as the talent goes. If this was against a completely inferior rhymer it would be easy for you to take the W based on the disparity. But, since your piece is a little on the short side and you're up against someone who rhymes similarly, well, we'll just have to see...

Diablo aka Lars:
So I could be wrong here but this is apparently an allegory for the netcees website aside from being a fish story. Clever.
“New waves would arrive, but old schools wouldn’t adapt,”

The septic old stalwarts are stuck in their ways
full of selfish importance and reluctant to change.
They love to inflate their worth to excess in verbatim
too stubborn to make way for the next generation.
Those set in their ways want to keep what they have
- with the rest relegated to feed off their scraps.
Yeah sounds kinda like netcees. But if I'm wrong sorry about sounding so stupid.

I’m breathing new life into it, whether as big as some think
or a meaningless fry, but either way - I’m still just a fish.
Doesn't rhyme; sorry. big as some think/ still just a fish
They both have short I sounds but No.

Anyway, I quoted only the middle of the piece but rest assured I read the whole thing and enjoyed it, apart from the aforementioned non-rhyme.

I think you had an advantage with length; were able to flesh it out a little bit more than MMLP.

This one is really tough for me cuz MMLP's is so CLEAN.
But I'll give it to Lars for the creativity and comparable execution. I say comparable because I think Lars was outrhymed here. Still, he somehow got my vote with the allegory.

V Diablo