Thread: O Father
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Old 09-02-2015, 04:21 PM   #11
Mr. J
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this was a well weaved verse my vivacious fellow
you really capture the eye with this piece, a stream of consciousness
the flow is very well done & it carries throughout the piece
I really enjoy the story when you take us Milwaukee bound
I felt like you added a very smooth transition from then on out
it brought all the proper elements of great storytelling
the word choice kept the pace of the piece in motion & better for the reader
nice work brah...
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